Why 9 things? Well because top 10 things are so cliche and I don’t have the budget of a US late night show to execute it properly with celebrity cameos and all that. So instead, here is my helpful list of 9 Tips that will save you money and/or time this holiday season in no particular order:
1. Have Christmas 2 weeks later. The Chinese have a late New Year so why can’t you have a late Christmas? It gives you time to recycle from the gifts you’ll receive, buy things at a cheaper price, and avoid all the traffic and crowded malls.
2. Buy everything online. Duh, no brainer.
3. Order food as gifts. So many bakers who work from home take orders via Instagram or Facebook and they even deliver to your house. Think banana bread, carrot cake, cookies, etc.
4. Gift certificates. Yes, it’s a cop out but you can get so much done by just buying all your GC’s at one store.
5. Cash. This is a bigger cop out but if you’ve hit the tito age like me, it’s acceptable to do this. It’s a time saver but not a cash saver. But if your time is gold, then you’re saving a ton.
6. Use the old “instead of giving you gifts we decided to donate to a charity on your behalf” trick. Nobody ever questions it.
7. Pretend to be out of the country. That’s why I always keep old travel photos on my hard drive. Just don’t use the ones where your wife was still pregnant and you were 30lbs. lighter.
8. Pretend to be sick, preferably with something highly contagious like tuberculosis, leprosy, or Tourette’s syndrome.
9. Support the political enemy of your friends whoever it is. They’ll unfriend you faster than you can send a gift. This only has a 50-50% chance of actually working. Just be ready for online trolls.