I was looking through my notes and I found this “One Thousand One Liners” which I wrote several years ago as a self-imposed exercise to strengthen my comedic muscles. Not all of them where gems, but the point was to train my mind to write one liner jokes with discipline regardless of whether I was feeling inspired or not. So here are a few of my favorites:
The thicker the person’s American accent, the more likely she’s from Batangas.
Some people are born bisexuals but most of them just really need the money.
I ate dog once by accident. My friends and I ran over a dog. It was an accident so we ate it.
Filipinos love to sing for no reason. I feel like I’m always walking in on someone’s music video.
I find that my basketball game improves when I don’t wear deodorant.
You ever read a fashion magazine then realize it’s from 1986? Now it’s too late to return the leggings and head band.
I like to freak people out so sometimes I go to Greenhills and go “Original?”
I went to Shanghai and boy did they have a huge China town over there.
A foreigner asked me, “Is rugby popular in the Philippines?” I said, “Yes! Especially among the kids under the bridge”.
Before Facebook people actually got together to gossip about other people.