Pacman vs. Clottey
Honestly, I’m not so excited about the upcoming Pacquiao-Clottey fight in March. But what I’m really excited about is the possible movie of the Pacman and Steven Seagal. In case you didn’t hear about it a month ago, Steven Seagal paid a visit to Wapakman in his Los Angeles home. There hasn’t been a movie that starred an A-list athlete with a B-list actor since the critically acclaimed action flick “Double Impact” that paired up Dennis Rodman and the under-appreciated JCVD (Jean Claude Van Damme). You know Manny has something up his sleeve when he met with a washed-up Steven to do a potential straight-to-DVD blockbuster instead of asking Mark Wahlberg or Denzel Washington, who are both big fans of his. So here are my predictions on how the plot will play out:
Manny is going to play a world-class boxer who gets a death threat and so he hires a new bodyguard to protect him. In comes Seagal as the retired secret service agent who fits the job description. At first, the two are at odds as the outgoing Manny will feel stifled with Seagal’s constant presence and paranoia. Eventually, Seagal learns to appreciate Pinoy culture and teaches Manny the ways of America. There will be some funny moments when Seagal eats “dinuguan” or “balut” and find out what it really is. In the end, the two fight the bad guys together as they each show off their fighting prowess.
Or…
Steven Seagal is hired by a rich couple whose daughter got kidnapped by human traffickers. Seagal’s investigation brings him to the Philippines where he ends up in a bad neighborhood where a bunch of local gangsters don’t take a liking to his pony-tail and snooping around. Luckily, the good-hearted tricycle driver Manny, who happens to be nearby, fights off the gangsters and drives for Seagal. The two become friends and together they find the hideout of the traffickers. The rich daughter is saved and the two stars get their cliché fight scene with their backs against each other.
Or…
Manny is a hard-headed poor guy who has a knack for getting into fist fights. When his mother dies, Manny finds out he has a half-brother (Seagal) in America. He goes out to find him and they form a partnership in the boxing ring. Seagal becomes Manny’s coach and they go on to win 7 weight division titles.